"You got the choice. You can give love or withhold love. If you give love you live in a loving world. If you withhold love you live in a lonely world." – quote, AA speaker
Every morning we wake up to a cacophony of birds singing. We had opossums living secretly somewhere in the garden. They had precious little babies. There were skunks. One time I counted 7 (!) of them lining up by the cat food in my kitchen - it was “their buffet”. Skunk mommy must have taken her babies in to show them, “And this is where we go for dinner”… Raccoons were having sex on the roof right outside the bedroom window (I took their pictures). Then we got Ruby and Roxy, the dogs, and some of these adorable creatures left the vicinity. The squirrels remained and so did the birds – doves, blue jays, an occasional flock of parrots, one lone humming bird, but the cats are predators. It’s in their nature to kill. My heart aches when they do what they do...*** It happened that a thief stole my wallet out of my office. That day I just didn’t want to be upset all day, and I felt like being grateful that he did leave behind my car key, laptop, I-phone, I-pod, and purse. I decided that I didn’t have another day to waste on random misery. They’re telling me that I can let of resentments instantly by wishing him well (the thief), and thanking God for all the things I do have. So I pray and it works - I have a good day. I’m thanking God that I don’t have to spend my days stealing from people.*** The truth is - my attitudes and judgments have not incurred much improvement in the world at large … Tirelessly I have tried to put a stick into the spinning wheels of global predicaments and human relations (fictitiously - all in my head). The world did not take notice. A large portion of my life was spent with my feet on both the gas and brake pedal. Had to give that one up. Exhausted, without getting anywhere, I had lost the years. It got to where a cognitive reorientation had to be implemented… and then… it felt like I had to jump onto the moving train with everyone already on it, comfortable in their seats, while I was trying to catch up, back peddling, too. They’re telling me that’s alcoholism and there is a solution (yay!).*** How to live in this world? I wake up with my murderous cat rubbing on me with his silky fur, looking me lovingly in the eye. There is not a single bird to be heard outside (which is probably a good thing…). Come to think of it – I haven’t seen the humming bird in a while, either. How to make it through this sunny morning without my heart breaking about the nature of life? Oh, I remember - get up, write about it, thank God for my breath and the spectacular blue sky, and make myself useful. Get a move on! Go!*** I can stew in resistance and misery… or I can let go, join in lightly without judgment of what I think it ought to be… and become part of the orchestration of the universe, which is fate, which is “God’s will”. It’s all about hearing the tune, feeling the rhythm, and dancing to the music. “Every child has known God. Not the God of names. Not the God of don’ts. Not the God who ever does anything weird. But the God who only knows four words and keeps repeating them, saying: Come dance with Me. Come dance. “– quote, Hafiz, the Great Sufi Master P.S. A good Samaritan returned my wallet with everything, but the money. P.S. The cat is stretching on the sunny roof. He is smiling.