Relational

• You don’t own anybody
• Everyone gets to live out his/her own fate
• You want to be loved without paying a too high price for it
• The loss of autonomy or personal development is a too high price to pay.
• What price to pay? Is it worth it?
• You’re not loved because you deserve it, but because you offer something that the other person needs, and also because you have something in common
• Love is a gift and you can lose or destroy it if you don’t know how to handle it
• If the presence of your partner isn't sweet to you anymore, it’s usually over
• If you feel unloved or jealous, you show your worst side. You may insult or threaten your partner, possibly even with a bright-red face
• Don’t take yourself so seriously
• When a couple breaks up, it’s not because another lover is better, but because one doesn’t feel understood or appreciated, two people living next to each other rather than with one another
• It’s easier to see fault in the other as you don’t really see yourself
• A self-righteous attitude and blame are useless and poisonous to the emotional climate
• Refrain from expectations and you will minimize resentments
• Clearly state what you want, and your partner gets the chance to reply, yes or no. If you don’t do that, you will build up resentments, which drown out the love, and eventually you'll want to get away
• When you're upset, think first whether it is really necessary to express your discontent. If so, use I statements to state what you want, rather than what the other person has done that seems wrong to you
• Parents will always be parents and children have a right for continuity of parenting
• Don’t assume that you’re right. You may both be right or wrong. It may not matter either way
• More humor and less ego make everything easier
• Disrespect destroys love
• Give what you want to get
• Ask yourself, am I a joy for my partner? If you ruin his/her mood too often, there is a problem
. • Offering loving kindness is the way to own your power and create joy
• When in doubt, ask, what would love do now? Do that!